


The Chicken Breast is for the Guest

by Fairady



Series: Chicken House [5]
Category: X-Men (Movies), X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-24
Updated: 2012-02-25
Packaged: 2017-10-31 15:56:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/345900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fairady/pseuds/Fairady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The more things change the more they stay the same, or something deep like that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Sorrow**

Rogue knows something's changed irrevocably in her when the only tears produced from watching the Titanic are tears of boredom.

**Walking**

When her —-his, her, their—- _her_ thoughts become too painful she takes a walk and people quickly learn to avoid her.

**Serenade**

Wade wakes up singing a week later, and Rogue wastes no time getting them both the hell out of the school despite everyone's protests.

**Worry**

She balks at the first shower, knowing now that she isn't alone, but gets over it with the knowledge that the ratings aren't high enough.

**Share**

Nothing and everything changed and Rogue finds it almost scarily easy to follow Wade's jumpy thought procession now.

**Belief**

She doesn't have that third sense that lets her know what is going on beyond the wall anymore, but just the memory of it is enough.

**Solliquoy**

She no longer thinks he's talking to her when she hears him talking in another part of the house.

**Quiet**

She doesn't keep much from Wade when he fades away —-not even his memories but that's for her own sanity—- and the quiet is hard to take at first.

**Waltz**

She doesn't know why Wade knows how to waltz but the steps stick around and are augmented by Erik's memories.

**Stupidity**

Erik -—yes, she got to be that familiar, after all _he_ forced his memories on _her_ -— was the biggest dumbass on the planet.

**Solitary**

It takes three months of shared missions before Rogue finally gets to go one truly alone.

**Jousting**

How that mission ends up with her on a horse is something she'll never tell even though she keeps the bloodstained lance.

**Virtuous**

The Bard was young and almost had an original gimmick for a mercenary, too bad he chose to sing about Rogue's bountiful virtue.

**Bane**

"Nrgh," Rogue throws the remote across the room and curses Wade's stupid parental controls along with Weasel's suspicious radio silence.

**Quarrel**

Wade hadn't wanted her to go after the rest of the Brotherhood, but Rogue had an entire lifetime of blackmail material to convince him otherwise.

**Just**

Hunting down Erik's people was 80% doing the right thing, 15% percent greed (hey, some of them had good bounties), and 100% petty revenge.

**Whiskey and Rum**

Rogue now likes the taste of both expensive whiskey and the cheapest rum that can be found on skid row.

**Quirks**

She got into the habit of narrating he life —-out loud and in her head-— and never quite stopped.

**Blessing**

"I heard once that people used to think drilling holes in their heads would keep them from being possessed," Rogue said as she carefully wrapped cellophane around the specially ordered skullpot, "wonder if that makes my pots lucky or something."

**Waste**

It takes three near deaths, a handful of maimings, and countless beatings before the guys at Hell House stop thinking of Rogue as anything other than a mercenary.

**Weddings**

There's something pleasantly wrong in the utter delight she feels as she "accidentally" tramples the ten-tiered cake.

**Whimsy**

"Jonah, Alice, Gertie, Bill," Rogue murmured affectionately as she carefully put each of her guns away for the night.

**Jester**

It's not until she sees the baffled faces of the men she's beating that Rogue realizes she's been mouthing off the whole time.

**Breaking**

The first time Wade calls her skunk she throws the skull pot she'd been working on at his head, hard.

**Jewel**

The only time Rogue goes wild over diamonds is when they're on a tool she needs to use.

**Smirk**

"Nope, sarcasm's free," Rogue said to the slimy looking client who hadn't stopped licking his lips since meeting her, "stating the blindingly obvious is extra, and not maiming you for staring at my boobs is gonna be double!"

**Balloon**

Rogue wakes up one morning to find herself buried in balloons and has to literally dig herself out.

**Burning**

Smoke greets her as the last balloon dies on her knife and Rogue runs to the kitchen.

**Birthday**

"Yes, the thought was good," Rogue eyes the charred thing with icing that might have been a birthday cake in a past life, "but I'm still not eating it."

**Question**

"But why can't we watch more gay porn?"

**Defeat**

Rogue screams are cut short in a violent explosion of pain that ends mercifully quick as she looses consciousness.

**Breathing**

Rogue's surprised to wake up alive -—she distinctly remembers hearing her throat crunching sickeningly—- but ceases to be when she sees Wade's comatose butt next to her.

**Valiant**

It still hurts like a bitch, and Wade's psychosis running through her mind doesn't help, but she gets up anyway to find the bastard who KO'd her.

**Victory**

She cackles at the guy's face as the wound heals and easily spits him on Wade's swords.

**Bias**

New guys are fun because they have expectations of the Hell House and it's always amusing to beat it out of them.

**Natural**

Rogue is always herself, it's just that "herself" now includes several other people.

**Balcony**

Hanging on by her fingertips, Rogue can only think about how nice it would have been to be born with the power to fly.

**Neutral**

"I'm neutral," Rogue declares as she points a gun at both of the competing mercenaries, " _violently_ neutral."

**Nowhere**

Eventually the Brotherhood catches onto why they're getting wiped out and Rogue can't find any trace of them.

**Wonder**

Jubilee calls one day and gossips for an hour straight before Rogue can break in to demand how she got her phone number.

**Sordid**

Jubilee, as it turns out, is very good at finding out all sorts of things she shouldn't know.

**Jump**

Rogue puts her on speed dial and starts to tell the other girl about her problem finding Brotherhood members.

**Horizon**

Within a week Rogue's beating Brotherhood butt again and has her first ever snitch.

**Near**

A shiver runs up her spine when rumors start surfacing in the Hell House about a man named Stryker.

**Sojourn**

Wade leaves more often and is gone for longer periods of time, Rogue can't help but worry about that.

**Quitting**

It's only by chance that Patch lets slip the fact that Wade's been taking fewer mission that she starts to grow suspicious.

**Nuance**

She was Wade for a terrifyingly brief moment in her life, the details of his insanity are lost on her but she remembers enough to know something is very wrong with him.

**Sarcasm**

"Gee willikers, Mr. Deadpool," Rogue snapped as she tightened the tourniquet, "and here I thought it _always_ took you an hour to regenerate from minor dismemberment!"

**Wishes**

It's become apparent to her that Wade isn't going to get better on his own, and that if she wants to keep her partner she's going to have to do some digging on her own.


	2. Roses by Rogue!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tired of the usual gifts?

Looking for something special to get that special someone in your life? Tired of stale chocolate and supermarket flowers? Looking for that perfect little something to perk a room right up?

Try something different with Roses by Rogue!

Why limit yourself to boring old potted plants? With Roses by Rogue you get _this_ original skullpot with each rose bush. Each pot is a genuinely fresh skull. We'll work with you to customize your roses to your liking and hand deliver them anywhere in the world for you. Gift wrapping and card are optional.

Each of our pieces is one of a kind and handmade. No skull is alike! Have a specific skull in mind? No problem! For an additional fee we can get that particular skull for you!* With our friendly customer orientated staff no job is to complicated.

So call now before our supplies run out!**

.  
.

*Offer subject to change, please contact Rogue to discuss details. We reserve the right to reject orders for any reason whatsoever. 

**Cash only. No personal checks, credit cards, or IOUs accepted.

.  
.


	3. The Chicken Breast is for the Guest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recovery is an optimistic term.

**#45 - Ugly**

For five minutes after waking up in the infirmary he didn't know where he was and he almost feels sorry about the mess he left before Rogue showed up.

**#32 - Pretty**

There's going to be hell to pay, he knows it like he knows how to talk, but he still lets himself get lulled into a false sense of security by the plate of chimichangas the sidekick holds out to him.

**#31 - Poison**

"It's only arscenic," the devil said with a sweet smile as he groaned in pain, "now about that whole abandoning me thing..."

**#34 - Regret**

"I'm sorry, so, SO sorry, and I won't do it EVER again not leggo of my- ARRGH!"

**#21 - Head**

Wade knows exactly how messed up in the head he is, he doesn't envy Rogue having to deal with that.

**#36 - Secret**

It was freaky how much the kid retained even after he was up and fully functional again, but not as freaky as knowing he didn't have a single secret anymore.

**#41 - Stable**

In his saner moments he worried about what the kid had turned into because of him.

**#06 - Dark**

But he knew it was for the best, no way would the kid have survived any of the shit she'd been through if she wasn't a little off herself.

**#37 - Snakes**

She still screams like a little girl anytime he brings in something that slithers.

**#39 - Solid**

His arms were lighter than they had been in decades, and it took him a few days before he stopped overshooting when reaching for things.

**#15 - Flexible**

It was also easier to move now that the metal blades were gone, and he no longer felt that phantom pain in his elbow when he flipped someone off.

**#20 - Green**

She's sneaky, he'll give her that much, she ambushed him about going out on missions when he was in a brownie induced haze of contentment.

**#23 - Honor**

He refuses at first out of principle, no way in hell is she going to go out and make a name for herself until he was _sure_ it was going to be an awesome one.

**#28 - New**

The guys at the Hell House had given him shit about the kid for all of the five seconds it took her to hamstring the most obnoxious one of them.

**#04 - Bugs**

Rogue drew the line at wearing a wire on the mission and refused to give into his pouting.

**#10 - Duty**

Pride blooms deep in the recesses of his blackened heart as he watches the kid finish her first solo mission through the sniper scope.

**#03 - Beginning**

Watching Rogue pursue the Brotherhood with righteous rage stirs something in him, and he sets Weasel on tracking down certain ex-government workers.

**#12 - End**

Finding anyone and everyone connected to the Weapon X program had always been on his To Do list, it'd just been pushed down over the years under more important things like earning a living and collecting all the Golden Girl's DVDs.

**#30 - Peace**

It was past time for him to do a little check-up with the doctors that'd made him what he was.

**#29 - Old**

Each time it's like a class reunion for Frankenstein and the mad doctor, just with more screaming and begging.

**#35 - Roses**

He didn't see the problem with the fliers he'd printed off for her, it was a legit cool skill she had and the market hadn't been cornered on it yet.

**#40 - Spring**

His arms still burn and itch even months after the swords were removed and it takes him forever to remember to reach for the pair on his back instead of flexing out the pair that aren't there anymore.

**#27 - Metal**

It's easier to do the fancy spinning stuff with swords in his hand than the swords that used to be in his arms.

**#09 - Drink**

He nearly lost a lung the first time the kid drank a beer, the expression on her face was priceless, which is probably why she stick to hard liqueur afterwards.

 **#13 - Fall**

He pulls her up just before the ledge crumbles, "Jeeze, you need to lay off the HoHos, kid."

**#02 - Apples**

"No," he hissed and pointed a gun at the book she held, "Twilight is not allowed in this house, ever."

**#22 - Hollow**

For his birthday he got a pan of fresh brownies, a whet stone, and a box of specially ordered hollow bullets.

**#25 - Light**

The skunk streak was too much to resist and Wade spent a lot of time dodging projectiles.

**#46 - War**

She was still in training and would be for as long as he could still drop her, and no number of solo missions was going to change that.

**#42 - Strange**

It's kinda freaky going mano y mano with someone who can copy everything you can do, and he's had practice with that well before the kid came along.

**#14 - Fire**

"Oh, no you don't you little fire-bug," he pulled the flame thrower out of her grasping hands and ignored her pouting, "I like this hideout!"

**#16 - Flying**

"Upsy-daisy," Deadpool sang as he threw the kid up in the air, marveling at how far she sailed with only a little bit of force.

**#26 - Lost**

Rogue crashed to a halt with a sickening crack and too late, he realized he'd thrown her straight at the flat screen.

**#19 - Grave**

He sobbed as Rogue put the first shovel of dirt over the cracked flat screen, funerals always got to him like that.

**#33 - Rain**

As the factory exploded it started to rain down flaming bits of marshmallow goodness, "SCORE!"

**#43 - Summer**

The heat brought out tank tops, short shorts, and a lack of shame that hadn't been there before in the kid.

**#49 - Winter**

Wade was actually looking forward to winter for the peace of his own mind.

**#38 - Snow**

Hitting the sidekick with a snowball was getting harder and harder to do as the days went on, but he was determined to get at least one hit in per day.

**#44 - Taboo**

"Because gay porn is all you want to watch anymore!"

**#48 - Welcome**

"Welcome to Loserville, population: you," Deadpool crowed as his plastic game piece crossed the finish line.

**#01 - Air**

He had so much to say --about her form, the stupid hair tie she had, the weather, what was for dinner-- but it was kinda hard to talk intelligibly when she kept hitting him in the diaphragm.

**#05 - Coffee**

The bottle rebounded off the dumpster and took the pimp out from behind, Deadpool crowed, "Double points!"

**#11 - Earth**

Teaching her all the fun, illegal ways to get into countries takes them on a three month world vacation.

**#47 - Water**

"In four, three, two-" Wade counted down as the pot slowly tipped over the sleeping Rogue.

**#08 - Doors**

"Put some ass into it," he called out as the door shuddered and the kid's cursing grew louder, "it's barely moving!"

**#18 - Foot**

It was inevitable that the kid would confront him about his problems, it surprised him how long it took though.

**#07 - Despair**

It's the first time he's ever seen her cry, and he'll be damned if it isn't the last because he just doesn't know what to do with a crying woman.

**#17 - Food**

On second thought, trying to cram chocolate into her mouth hadn't been such a good idea after all.

**#24 - Hope**

The kid thinks he can be fixed, somehow, and he doesn't have it in him to convince her otherwise.

**#50 - Wood**

Heh, wood.


	4. Looking Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A costume change was in order.

Looking good is half the key to being a good mercenary. You could have all the skill and firepower in the world and it wouldn't mean jack if you looked like you shopped off of Walmart's clearance racks. Your image was what the client saw when they hired you, and --if you were good enough-- became your calling card in the world.

Rogue took this truth the heart when she decided on her costume. She ends up spending a lot of Wade's money on it. He only weeps over the status of his bank account twice though. Once in the beginning, and a second time when a specially autographed photo of Bea Arthur goes up for sale on eBay.

Armor made to fit her body isn't cheap. Especially not when she throws in all the very detailed specifications she needs from the armor. It has to fit her like a glove, but still be flexible enough that she doesn't lose any of her agility. She settles on a light weight black material that's as hard as kevlar. Formed into plates and layered together like scales it lets her move as freely as she wants. It only protects her front and back --the sides aren't as well shielded-- but that's a sacrifice she's willing to make. The important organs are covered.

It comes with a pair of black gloves with steel plates over her knuckles. The fingertips on the first and second finger of both are cut off. The gloves fit perfectly and look really cool when she poses with Bill and Alice. With a long-sleeved green shirt the gloves and vest give her the first taste of what her finished costume will be like.

She chooses some fairly --by comparison-- cheap tactical pants to go with it. Black with lots of pockets and very easy to replace when they inevitably get torn on her missions.

The boots are something she doesn't compromise on. They add two inches to her height, bringing her up to Wade's chin. They're fire-proof, water-proof, chemically treated, wear and tear resistant, steel-toed, and come with a life time warranty that she knows she'll be abusing. Most importantly, they're dyed a dark green and buckle all the way up to her knees. Making her look ready to kick ass and screw the names. They cost as much as the vest, and Wade complains about it up to the day she gets them and shows them how cool they look on her.

The jacket is the last piece of her costume. It takes the longest to order and custom fit, but it's all worth it in the end. Because it's what really makes her costume work. It's a modified version of her old jacket with the hood. Made of lightweight kevlar, it covers her from head to foot in green. It's got pockets for all sorts of goodies sewn inside and looks great billowing around her as she moves through her different forms.

Rogue looks badass, and she knows it. Wade sheds a tear the day she shows him her costume and calls her his Jolly Green Midget, but that's only the jealousy speaking.


End file.
